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15 February 2011 @ 03:57 pm
judgment [six]  
six: rejection
kyuhyun/zhou mi ; pg-13 (2,787 words)
when fate plays games with you, when there is no one for you to trust, when deceit hangs in the air, are you still willing to take love under your wings?
dedicated to doumyoujitsukas

001 | 002 | 003 | 004 | 005

-

Kyuhyun could still remember every little detail from yesterday as vividly as if he was living it again now. How the sky was filled with clouds more towards the right than the left, how the blades of grass were parted from each other, how warm Zhou Mi's skin felt against his. He was absolutely oblivious to the chatter of the crowd around him, the bright lights of the hallway, the clanging metal sound of opening and closing lockers, as he walked. Neither did he realize when everyone seemed to fall into abrupt silence, not until that familiar burning feeling returned, this time on his shoulder. He whirled around so hard he figured he might hit something, but all thoughts of that disappeared when he met that very familiar chocolate gaze, that brilliant smile that could win over the sun if it so wanted. "Hey," he managed, breathlessly, the grip around his books tightening (he'd needed something to grasp onto, just in case).

-

Zhou Mi smiled in return, and he wasn't sure if it turned out sheepish (the way he'd intended it to be), or excited (at the rate his heart was beating, it would've been hyperactive). He let out a breathless 'hi' as well, then noticed the abnormally silent hallway. His eyes scanned the corridor over Kyuhyun's shoulder; it seemed every person halted in whatever they were doing, their gazes fixed on him. There were so many emotions coursing through the atmosphere, it was a palpable confusion, there was anger, awe, shock, hate. He forced his eyes away from all the other pairs, green, brown, blue, black alike, all glaring at him. He knew, he'd always known, he wasn't a welcome presence here. None of his kind were. "I've never... been to the Art block before. I-I just wanted to see you. I'll leave now, I think-" He was about to turn, about to spin around on his heel, not having to face the block of ice set up before him, not having to meet all those stares, when Kyuhyun's hand flew outward to grab his. He could hear a few gasps, female, it seemed, then murmurs, disapproving ones, all ringing with the same angry, disgusted tone. Kyuhyun's gaze dropped to the floor, then back up into his eyes, but his grip didn't loosen in the slightest. "Please-- don't go. I-I know Science classes start later than Art classes, and I've got a free period now, so-" he stopped abruptly, lowering his voice a little in comparison with the heightening volume of the murmurs in the background, "Can... Can we spend time together?" The soft question floated to Zhou Mi's ears; Kyuhyun let go of his wrist, his hand falling limply at his side.

"Of course," he whispered, almost robotically, without a single ounce of thought. The very idea of being able to spend time with Kyuhyun sent shockwaves to his brain, bypassing all thought or common sense, and he asked, this time a slightly louder voice, "Library?" This time, the gasps were more horrified than shocked, and a girl cautiously stepped out from the crowd. She ignored the grappling of her friends' hands behind her, swatting their fingers away, her eyes fixed in a deadly glare at him. She was tall and very beautiful, even to Zhou Mi, her eyes a wide, autumn brownish-orange, her skin a flawless, untarnished white, her body a perfect emulation of a Coke bottle. But her stare rivalled that of a lion, and she scowled, "Kyuhyunnie-ah, what are you doing? He's a Science student, isn't he? Don't fall into their trap, trust me. They have no good intentions; it's all about themselves. They don't feel anything, not even the slightest bit of commitment or loyalty or sense of friendship. He's lured you," she coaxed, emphasizing on her last few words, her voice light and high like the wind. She turned to Zhou Mi instead, her glare growing stone hard, "You are not welcome here. If you have no business here, I suggest you don't set foot into this place again," she warned with contempt. Her friends seemed to have stopped getting her to stand down, they nodded in fierce, unwavering agreement, as did everyone else. A boy from the far end of the corridor howled, "You said it, girl! Tall nerd over there, why don't you take your nerdiness away from here? You're killing all our artistic spirit!" There were similar calls and cries, echoing throughout the entire hallway, and for two seconds, Zhou Mi gave into those calls. They were right, every bit of it. What made him think he could walk in here, with none of this thrown at him? Even what she said about--

Warm fingers wrapped themselves around his wrist and pulled with such force that he staggered forward; Kyuhyun was dragging him back out the corridor, and he took steps with what seemed like a sense of desperation to it. But there was no cheering or whooping or sense of victory behind him, he knew, and the hallway grew deathly silent again, the remnants of noise seeming to bounce weakly against the metal surface of the lockers - because an Art student had led him away, had betrayed his own kind, had turned his back on them. They rounded the corner, and Zhou Mi thought Kyuhyun would stop, but they rounded many more corners before the younger did just that. He let go, his back still facing Zhou Mi, then he turned around, and Zhou Mi swore his heart shattered into little fragments at his eyes, brimming with guilt yet worried about no one else but Zhou Mi, without the slightest sense of concern for himself. "I'm sorry. I-I really am. What they said back there was awful, a-and I don't think you deserve something like that. I won't lie, most of them are like that, and... and I'm just, just really sorry, for all of us," he murmured, fidgeting with his books.

Don't, Zhou Mi wanted to say, Don't associate yourself with them. You're not like that. "Please don't apologize, you really don't have to! If anyone's the last one to apologize, it's you. It has nothing to do with you, really, and I should be the one who's apologizing, I went there of my own accord anyway-" And then Kyuhyun smiled, first the edges of his lips twitching upwards, then a full-fledged, brilliant smile up at him, "I'm really glad you came over. Even if you knew that would happen, I just... that makes me really happy," he let out, a light blush drifting across his cheeks. Zhou Mi grinned back, "Shall we?"

-

Siwon gazed, with watchful eyes, as Zhou Mi and - ah, the name slipped his mind all the time, Kyuhyun, he remembered - sat down at one of the smaller tables by the back of the library, almost near the wall of the seating area. He let out an audible sigh, flipping the page of the book before him, pressing the ever-familiar stamp on the red inkpad and thumping it against the surface of the paper. He didn't know what to feel - Zhou Mi was his newest yet closest friend; he was a smiley dork, at least to Siwon, hopelessly optimistic and very much the adorable boy he first seemed to be. Siwon didn't make friends too easily, he made admirers pretty much everyday though, but very few of them were people Siwon could actually sit down and talk to, about school, about himself. Zhou Mi was one of that rare percentile, and he was an amazing listener with a handful of good advice to boot. He was wise beyond his years, Siwon knew, but there were times when his immaturity showed. Like now, when he was so mindlessly in love already. He trusted Zhou Mi with his deepest secret, a secret that was unspeakable of except when they were really alone. But this? He liked Zhou Mi, very much, actually, and it hurt when he saw him getting bullied by the insane seniors in the Student Council who dump all their work on him, when he felt down in general. Siwon knew he was already too far in to get out, but Zhou Mi can't lose what he's never had. Siwon could see, this relationship his best friend was slowly forming with that Art student, was not going to go smoothly. Not if--

He felt a hand on his shoulder, then a familiar face dropped to his eye level as he sat on the chair next to him. Siwon laughed softly, "Librarians only, or do I need to put Chinese letters on that sign too?" he asked, planting a brief kiss on the boy's lips. Hangeng smiled, pulling him by the back of the neck for a longer, deeper one; Siwon loved the sweet taste of the other's mouth, melting into the touch. "We finished dance classes early today because the instructor's sick, and I'm free till about two in the afternoon today," he offered. Siwon made a face, then, "Well, Science classes start in about an hour, give or take a little, and then you'll be all alone till lunch," he crowed. Things were silent for a very long while, and they sat together without a sound, taking in the musty smell of books and the barely audible murmur of the few students in the library. "Isn't that Zhou Mi?" Hangeng asked, at last, gesturing towards the tall boy that Siwon could see giggling with Kyuhyun. He couldn't help but smile at the childlike scene, but answered, "Yeah. Little dork. He's completely hopeless, I tell you. That's... the Art student I told you about. He's been going on and on and on about him forever now. They had some picnic date on Sunday and he called me when he got home to rave about it. He's... they're so in love, it's blindingly obvious." He didn't continue, even if he wanted to. But of course, Hangeng could always coax the truth out from him, and the moment Siwon met that soft, loving gaze, a gaze that told him it was alright even if he let it all out, a gaze that told him he didn't have to be the godly Choi Siwon everyone saw him to be, he caved in. "You know he's a really good friend. But... if they carry on, they'll end up like us. We're already too far in, and I'll go every step of the way with you. I-I don't want to see him upset. A smile should be the only thing on his face," Siwon whispered softly, leaning into Hangeng's arms.

Their lips connected a third time, then Hangeng whispered, "You're willing to go through this - I mean, hiding and everything - because you love me, right?" Siwon nodded slightly, pulling away a little in confusion at where he was headed. "Well... what if Zhou Mi's willing to do the same thing for that boy too?" The sentence from Hangeng came in Chinese, but it rang with complete understanding in Siwon's ears long after Hangeng had left.

-

Kyuhyun muffled the sound of his laughter with his hands, only vaguely aware that he was in a library and silence was the order of the day here. But he needed to laugh, he simply needed to; he hadn't been this happy for as long as he could remember. It was an enlightening sensation that made his body and mind feel light, instilling a sense of being able to do anything right at that moment, as long as the beautiful boy next to him remained with him, smiling with him all the way. He hadn't done a doodling competition since his kindergarten days, and no one seemed like they'd be bothered with something that simplistic in Cheonyeong. Zhou Mi's rendition of a bunny had both of them in stitches, and it seemed that if one rumour about the Science students that circulated amongst the Art circle was true, it'd be the one last year that claimed Science students could never draw a decent picture. In all its disfigured glory though, Kyuhyun thought the bunny was rather adorable and reached to tear that part off the piece of notepad paper, glimpsing his watch. He gaped; ten minutes to class? He shot Zhou Mi a hopelessly apologetic look, "I'm so sorry, classes are starting in ten minutes. I had no idea, I wasn't expecting it to be so soon. I'll see you around?" The end of his sentence leaned more towards a question than a statement, and Zhou Mi put a rest to his worries with a reassuring smile, then, "Of course. Go ahead!"

Through his run to the third lecture hall on the ground floor of the school, through the course that mentioned something about pencils and lines (he wasn't entirely sure), through lunch with Youngsaeng and Yoseop (he swore he saw Alexander with some foreign girl, Jung Nicole, he guessed), he could hear absolutely nothing, other than Zhou Mi's pealing laugh, a sound that Kyuhyun thought was the most beautiful sound in the world, a sound he didn't mind ringing in his ears every second of the day.

-

"Aiiiish. That teacher is absolutely insane. I mean, what the hell, thesis I get, but four of that? BY THURSDAY, NO LESS," he whined, playing with the splosh of mashed potato on his plate. Zhou Mi laughed, swallowing a mouthful of fried noodles. "Well, we're in the Science stream, my friend. Things don't come easy for us!" If there was one thing that seemed the most different compared to his school in China, it would be the cafeteria food. He didn't know if it was restaurant catering or if the school'd hired a personal chef, but hell, the food was amazing. He supposed he felt the pinch a little less, considering he was on scholarship, but he cringed thinking of the fee the other students would have to pay. He was going to mention that to Siwon, when the other suddenly said, "Hey." Zhou Mi turned to face him, a little cautious of the dark look on the other's face. "Yeah?" he answered, in acknowledgement, waiting for his best friend to say whatever it was he wanted to say.

The reply came many moments later. "You really love that kid?" Siwon asked, and the question came out in a rush, it seemed like he'd been aching to say it. Zhou Mi put his fork down, "I do. I used to think it was ridiculous that men could love other guys, and then you and Hangeng-ge came along and I respected that, but I didn't expect to... I don't know, do the same thing. Kyuhyun's a really special person." Siwon blurted out again, "But then you'll end up like Hankyung and me. You'll have to hide it, and everything. Look, I pretend to hate you sometimes, and I still do, you hopeless smiling nerd, but you're a good guy, and a good friend, and I don't think you deserve any of the shit you're going to get after this. I'm worried," he admitted, and Zhou Mi felt like doing nothing but giving the sometimes obnoxious boy a big hug. He didn't though, because he knows Siwon would flip and say something about 'damaging reputations', instead he settled for a bright smile, "I know. Thank you for worrying; it means a lot to me, and you're a really good friend too. But I love him, I really do. So I think I'll brave this somehow. I'll get all sorts of stuff thrown at me, but I think I'll be okay with it."

Siwon wished Hangeng wasn't so perceptive, but he gave in and began plucking at his potatoes again. He glanced at a table at the far end of the cafeteria, the only table that was occupied by the same students everyday, as if there was some unspoken rule among everyone that the table was strictly theirs. There was a mystic aura, no one ever really knew what they talked about, but Siwon could tell, from the different impressions that each gave, that they were not all Science students. They were mixed. That was considered taboo, the mother of all taboos, to have so many people from the two different streams together, but none of the other students ever seemed to notice because the cafeteria was generally only a place for Science kids. The Art students never came here anyway. He shot a concerned look at Zhou Mi, who was also staring at the table, "What about-" Siwon was cut off, "I'll be fine." He didn't think he'd heard Zhou Mi's voice quite so cold before.



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